The Volley

How to Cope as an Extroverted Isolator

“Hi, how are you?”

“I’m good, how are you?”

“Good, good, you?”

“I’m good, yah, you know. Fine, good ..you?”

Your serve. You pick up the ball and hit it into the ping pong match of the how are you abyss. Often a long volley because the answer to the question, is the question to divert the answer. Or maybe the question is the answer all along.

These days the pause to ask, mirrors the pause to answer. And sometimes, it can feel that no matter how many times you try to serve that ball to volley, a task to be in conversation. Sometimes so much is said without any words at all. Like that incredibly beautiful scene in the movie Big Night with Stanley Tucci and Tony Shaloub . I always tell my students in stand up, the POV is what drives the joke, you could say the alphabet, but if you say it pissed off? It’s funny. When you are performing, it’s like you’re playing a game of catch with the audience. You hold the ball, throw a joke — the audience catches it, and throws it back by way of laughter. And that, is what makes for a great volley.

I’m an outgoing isolator. Love a good party. Netflix, my pup, and a flavorful mix of sweet and salty. These days, the quiet in our direct surroundings is loud from the noise of the world. It’s like there is a constant “bzzzz”, like telephone poles with a short circuit, a constant low frequency of unrest sparked daily into the well abyss.

(Takes bite of ice cream).

So I try to change it up. I do the opposite. When I feel like napping? I go for a walk. When I feel like a chocolate wafer bar from Trader Joe’s? I make a fruit shake. When I feel like browsing on Amazon at more throw pillows to distract from working? I start writing. Yet while I’m getting good at “contrary actions”, the challenge I’m reminded of is , how will I learn to engage again with people? Be on stage? Perform? Teaching comes easy,and fortunately I’m active on line providing workshops and coaching, but how does an outgoing isolator adapt again? As I’ve gotten older, I’ve noticed a few mumbles to myself, an occasional nod, and remember my mom doing that. I’d look at her while she was drinking coffee pondering, and could see her thoughts. Her brows would start to move, an occasional shrug of the shoulder, and then a final a blow on her coffee to sip. Maybe a trait I learned from her, but when I muster sound and actually talk full sentences to myself? One of the perks to living alone because you always get the last word.

What if more activities were done by contrary action? How bout an “opposite day?” in quarantine?

Five Tips to Opposite Day:

1) Napping: Remember as kids, we didn’t want to go to bed? Go to bed before sundown if you’re tired, you’re tired!

2) Make up: It used to be put on a little lipstick, and cease the day! Now, it’s keep on the pajama’s and write down which day you took a shower. We used to wear makeup to look a little older, now I don’t wear any, to keep the lines from cracking!

3) Hiking hellos: Instead of smiling and waving to that person you may see along the path of your hike, do it on the freeway in bumper to bumper traffic.

4) Shoes: Put your opposite shoe on your opposite foot, walk around the block, and see how each step is different and accomplishes a whole new task.

5) Eye Candy: Read 3 things that make you smile vs reading the news which doesn’t.

For more ways we can find the funny in everyday life, reach out!

We’re all in this together.

Keep serving the ball.

Originally published at https://www.susannaspies.com on July 13, 2020.